She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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