I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
