we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
