Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
