what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you traded sex for a burrito?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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