anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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