Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
