...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
