In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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