.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
A bitchslap is in order.
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