If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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