so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
