she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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