Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
