She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
it's great music for shaving your balls
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
