Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
