I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
