dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
