Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
