I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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