im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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