there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
