You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
