i jhust puked up my retainher.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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