He is an equal opportunity slut.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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