i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
