we have officially lost it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
