I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
