The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
