Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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