I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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