I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's blow job season.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
