where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
