dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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