If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
