Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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