I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
