plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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