dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
