she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
