I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
