ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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