I just saw a hot homeless man
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
