id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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