I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
