I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
