ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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