She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
