im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
