i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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